I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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