I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
