Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I forget how to act sober
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
