I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
