I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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