Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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