PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
