Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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