JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
