you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
