i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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