wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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