We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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