I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
