ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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