so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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