I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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