We're like a lot better than the average bears
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
