toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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