Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
