he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Boobs are out for the taking
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
