Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
