There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
