Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
