wanna go halves on a baby?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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