Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
