i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
