Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
