A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
