Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
