The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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