if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
im on a boat
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