There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Alive.
So much puke
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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