I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
handjob tips. give me some.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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