I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
