During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
