My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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