That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
