so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
