I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
