ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
babies were throwing up all over the place
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
