You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize