Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm getting married
To pizza
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
