Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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