How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
