How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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