i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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