I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
