How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
