question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
