that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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